On the Edge of Heresy
Standing in the borderlands of faith.
the mists of spirit swirl around me
I look back on the road I traveled
And contemplate what brought me here.
Looking back to where I began,
In the bosom of family and home
A faith that was sung to me in my cradle
A belief that was passed down like an heirloom.
Who was I to question my elders
How was I to know what was true?
My infant mind only felt the love
That came from those I knew.
the words of Jesus gave me comfort
And my welcome was always clear
There was something I was learning
I feared they could make this disappear.
the tempests of life swirled around me,
I clung harder to the thought
That this faith and place would keep me safe
And I would always have a home.
Unable to merge the words and actions
Of those who claimed the truth,
I lost trust in my reckoning
And I lost myself in turn.
Early on, I heard a calling.
From on high, a voice so clear
That to share divine love with others
Was to be my mission here.
Faithfully, I turned my journey
Committed to the place I knew
Said the words that kept the blessing,
From the faith in which I grew.
My life changed as prayers were answered
Not in the way I thought they would
Love and pain mixed all together
Tears of joy and sadness grew.
Wrestling with my untold secret
Afraid to lose any love I knew
I kept that part inside me
Festering, and yet it grew.
Love shared but only partly
With those I loved and those I served
How could they truly understand me?
If I wasn’t completely true.
Love lost, and vision shattered
Along the road, I thought I had lost my way
Still keeping faith in what I knew
I struggled to keep my spirit true.
Finally, in the depths of despair,
In my brokenness, I knew
I must move beyond
This childhood faith from which I grew.
On my own Damascus Road, my blindness,
Like scales from my eyes fell
And a higher light shone brightly
Lighting up the path before.
Embracing all of who I am
Living my truth with grace
I accepted my weakness
And turned to my strength instead.
Slowing climbing up the mountain
Meeting guides along the way
Opening to new understandings
New wisdom would come to me.
The truth of what I was learning
Was not anything I ever knew
But clear-eyed, I saw things
In a way, that made them new.
Here I stand, with many others
Unwilling to be complicit anymore
With a system that brings oppression
Hate, injustice, and even war.
The truth of what I know
Has come to me at last
There is freedom in rejecting
Letting go of the hurtful past.
Standing on the edge of heresy
Turning faith upon its head
I now see with certain clarity
The same road on which I tread.
The truth of divine love never changes
No one group can pen it in
Given to all completely and freely
The light of the divine shines from within.
Not denying and yet embracing
A deeper truth that is told
The gift of grace is not an item
To be bought or even sold.
Let the spirits light my pathway
And the Universe direct
it does not negate my calling
But opens wider beyond my grasp.
Heresy is the truth that shines its light
On institutions, lies, and sham
Blasphemy rejects the thought that
Divinity lies outside the heart of humans.
I come not as one with wisdom
I come not a prophet of old
Here my words, and seek your truth
Walk with me along this road.
From childish faith that clings to the past
To a spirituality that lives in the now
No greater law is that of love
From our prophet, this we know.
Only from the edge of heresy
Can we see the way to go,
Freed from chains of fear and hatred
Into the future in which to grow.